You like the music that finds me,
that I hear in the deep night,
and that drags me out of myself.
You say it moves you a little bit.
And for me?
I fell into your eyes–
quite a while ago now.
I wondered even then,
“What have I fallen into?”
I still do not have clarity around that.
I suppose some women have found me handsome–
and to some, I’ve been almost invisible.
And to others, I’m some imagining of their own desires…
…an imagining I do not recognize in this face I see brushing his teeth in the morning.
To One Beloved,
I became her limitless heart’s desire.
How do you find me?
Funny, but I don’t care about that so much.
Below, a list of what matters most to me:
A storm of hair!
A gambler’s smile!
A love of cats,..
and open eyes.
That’s all I know about you,
but your open eyes look deep into me,
Your hands wait to touch me,
and your arms long to surround,
inquiring lips yearn to understand,…
“of what is this man constructed of?”
And by the grace of God,
I am moved to happily,
splay open my chest,
split my ribs,
and hand over to you my broken, hungry, and fiery heart,
so that you might have your answer.
And I too,
for tonight anyway,
am wearing a gambler’s smile.